I've Given Up Dating. Month Two.

In terms of this "giving-up-dating-experiment." If month one was my freshman success, then month two is my sophomore slump. 

There are negative stigma's associated with being single that directly impact one's life. Those negative stigmas are also matched by a societal notion where expectations in one's love life should be met. Whether spoken or not, we're almost programmed to believe that marriage is a milestone, being single is temporary, and you should try to find your significant other. My issue is that I'm feeling societal's pressure internally and to be quite honest, I'm not sure how to handle this situation. 

During the first month of this experiment, I discovered a new form of self-worth. Life felt worth exploring once again, almost as if my purpose was a rebirth. During this second month, I've felt regressed.

The pressure came from me. On too many occasions, I've caught myself in the act of mental dating. Creating fantasy scenarios within my head.  Believing that I'd live a happier life if I pursued an individual. 

For your average person, this type of behavior is typically reserved for celebrity crushes, the Beyonce's of the world. For me, this type of thinking was occurring with random women I'd pass on the street. This is why my second month was a failure. I found myself dedicating mental space to hypothetical situationships rather than dedicating that mental space towards something far more productive. 

My purpose of this experiment was to discover myself further. Understand my shortcomings and address the failures accordingly. This second month was anything but that. Perhaps I got in the way of myself with this one. Who knows, all I can do is be better for month three.