The Final Month

Here's the thing, I don't believe that I'm ready for a real relationship just yet. However, these past three months have allowed me to gain a better grasp of myself. This break helped me learn, it allowed me understand self-growth. Before this three month escape, I was reflective on the idea that maybe I'm simply not good enough. I understood my insecurities, but I never questioned them. I was beyond wondering if I was good enough for a relationship, I began questioning if I was good enough for myself. I had to take care of these mental detours before I decided to peruse someone again. Before these three months I felt out of place within myself. I couldn't relate to myself. Can't do a relationship if you don't relate to shit. Enough about the past. This month was perhaps the easiest of the three. Month one focused on my deep-rooted issues. Month two I was a horn-dog so that really didn't help things. This month I was at peace. I was able to understand where I developed and how I was able to develop. This month was the month of progress. But what did I earn from these three months? I learned that I was burned out. Much like a bad job, after going for so long without progress or any sense of reward I began to view things negatively. There was no joy in the activity. Dating became more stressful than rewarding. Taking this break allowed me to see the beauty in the rose again(That's poetic as hell). I was able to tend to those neglected aspects of my life, allowing me to find purpose in the activity once again. Dating is like the diminishing marginal utility of pizza. The first slice is usually heaven, but if you continue to only eat pizza, you'll eventually hate anything associated with pizza. The smell, the taste, the sight. Literally anything associated with pizza becomes hell. Well after going hard in the dating scene for many months, this break away from piz-uhhh-dating, you'll start to appreciate those first slices once again. I've taken a few months away from dating and now I'm starting to enjoy the pizza again... Wait I said that wrong. Screw it, you get the point.